Saturday, May 27, 2006
@1:32 PM
I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did, you felt so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing!
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I tried my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid
Because of you
Because of you
Looking at the brighter side, I'VE FINALLY BOOKED MY TRIP TO MOUNT KINABALU! I'm all determined to reach the summit InsyaAllah. Do pray for me that everything will go fine; good weather and good health throughout the 5D4N trip.
Monday, May 22, 2006
@10:34 PM
My first Big Walk yesterday and surely won't be the last. I'm amazed by the crowd. Felt as if the whole Singapore was down. Ni lah semangat kental orang2 Singapura yang sangat ku kagumi. People from all walks of life, of all ages, the very young to the very old. Some even came with their pet cats and dogs and even made the effort to be interestingly attired. I felt guilty looking at how fit some senior citizens are! Nevermind I'm spurred to work harder at the gym. I am all set to work hard for my big mission in June insyaAllah. Really hope all plan goes well.Met a lot of people there; cousins, distant realtives, family friends.... and of all I was most happy to have met my primary school friend; my classmate for 5 years! Haven't met him for a really long time. If I recalled correctly, the last time we met was about 5 years ago under the void deck of Aisha's. He's getting skinnier and I'm the opposite (haha). Although we have been keeping in touch through the phone all this while, it's different to get to see him in person. And as we talked last night, I managed to recall an amazing lot of our primary school days. Well memories can certainly make one cry or smile. 
Yup not the slightest regret having to wake up so early in the morning to make my trip down to Kallang. I had a great time and it was definitely because of the great company. Thanks Aisha, Anisa, Fiza and Joyce for joining in! And of course not forgetting Kak Mus :) So shall we go again next year people? (Nod please! And any others who care to join?)Had another gym session with Pah today. Made my debut trip to the esplanade library so that Pah can get her Star Trek vcds. Well I could never understand her craze over the series but don't worry Pah, me ain't stopping you! :) And there can be no better way than to end the day with a cone of Haagen Daaz..PS: Pah, I will surely find out the answer to your question!!!! :PWoohoo Ain, there's a probability that my 2007 mission will be a reality! hahahaha... I shan't give up. Ok ok maybe babies do make people strange.. including me.
Thursday, May 11, 2006
@8:53 PM
Wah!! Have been trying but I cant seem to remember the user name and matching password for my fotopage! So for those who view my fotopages often, I'm continuing the upload at http://misspink.fotopages.com.HHMMmm wats the username and password!!
@12:00 AM
Yeah already got my posting.... much earlier than expected but that's good. Means now I can find out when my holiday is and start planning my trip. Yes insyaAllah my trip to Sabah shall be a reality. Oh yes.... lupa pulak... I got posted to Fuchun Primary School, my practicum school. Oklah not dreading it. Don't really mind being posted there since some of the other trainees are also returning.
Haiz.. how time flies. Another year has passed and soon I'm a full-pledged teacher. Thinking of the responsibility scares me. I hope I can face all the challenges ahead. Sometimes, there's so much I want to do but there's only that much that I can do. Being inexperience may jeopardise the progress of my pupils. I know this is not an easy job that I've decided to take up but I will do my very best. As someone told me before, this job is also my lifestyle.
Saturday, May 06, 2006
@1:11 AM
Anyone miss me out there?! (quick leave me a msg then) haha. Well life hasnt been a bed of roses but then even if it has just been pathed with bouganvillas, I am still appreciating every moment of it. Indeed I have been super super busy and so the very reason why my blog has been hanging. Practicum has just ended (20 Feb - 5 May) and it has been an eye opening and learning experience.
Being observed by my superiors is a great challenge for me. Coming up with super interesting lessons to show off my capablities and teaching skills (that's what my CTs said was required) have been extremely brain-draining. More than often what I've planned cannot be executed due to some unforeseen circumstances. I have fought through 10 observations and each has it's own story. In my own ways, I have won this first battle.
As I did my final packing today, I asked myself, do I really want to do this? I do not regret choosing this profession if you ask me. Being with the children has been a great joy. They may get on my nerves more than often; handing up incomplete work, endless chasing of undone corrections, not giving full attention in class,... but hey, which teacher can get the ideal classroom of pupils, and what exactly is the definition of the ideal classroom?
I was assigned a p3 and p5 class. Maths for both levels and science for p5. The p3s came from the second best class while my p5s were the lower end. I'm more attached to my p5s, perhaps because I have many more periods with them. And also because knowing that they are weaker pushed me to reach out to them further... and I know I'll miss them more. Whatever it is, I hope I was not just able to tell, but explain, demonstrate and better still, inspire. It was not only the pupils who were learning but I definitely had an enriching learning experience from the pupils themselves. Despite the rollercoaster ride during these past 3 months, I know my practicum couldn't have been this good if not for the support of my family, friends, fellow trainees, colleagues and of course my great CTs.
And today, admiring all the extra things I brought home with me, I know,
I was enslaved, in a vast love affair with 83 children :)
"The teacher can consult outside of hours with his superiors or colleagues; he can get advice and talk over his difficulties. But when he goes into the classroom, shuts the door, takes the lonely seat behind the desk, and looks into the shining morning faces, then he is thrown back absolutely on himself. No power on earth can help him, and nothing can save the situation if he makes a blunder. There he needs all his resources, all his courage, and infinite patience."
