Tuesday, February 06, 2007
@11:35 PM
GONE LONG ENOUGH
I've been gone long enough from blogger.com. I haven't even been reading my friends' entries nor go bloghopping.....Am I just acting busy? Or prefers to keep myself busy or REALLY really that busy?? Well I think I am busy and at the same time, just not putting in the effort to spare time for other things. Sad huh?No I'm not career-minded. I'm not doing more than what's necessary. I'm just doing what's expected of me, and somehow it has lead me to be like this. Well perhaps I'm not as efficient as the others and so I ended up taking a longer time to complete my tasks.And it got me wondering, with this little time that I have to myself, can I afford to juggle any other commitments and responsibilities? That's another fear. I fear the commitment. I fear giving you my word and not keeping it. And I'm more afraid to jump into it when your presence did not stir that special emotion in me. Well I definitely know how much I can feel for someone. But when I feel so numb to all your hopes and dreams, I just keep on questioning myself whether I am just deluding myself and giving you false hopes. I'm so sorry if I keep giving you the mixed signals. I tried giving you a chance, or more selfishly, I wanted to give myself another chance, but somehow that part of me still remains 'dead' and the feelings in me just kept returning to level zero. As much as I have my hopes and dreams of the future, I'm not sure myself whether I can uplift it. Suddenly, I just miss the past.I miss being the innocent and carefree little girl.I miss my girlfriends.I miss the happier times.
Twenty-five years and my life is still
Trying to get up that great big hill of hope
For a destination
PS: Remember the Science Symposium competition that I mentioned to you about? The one that I was working hard on? Alhamdulillah, today we got the news that we were one of the schools in the finals! HURRAH! The finals will be next Wednesday, 14 Feb. So the next few days will be back being hectic working on this competition. I shall give it my best last bit.
Will insert the video clip of our rap which we have submitted soon.
