Thursday, May 01, 2008
@11:21 PM
RIGHT BACK WHERE YOU BELONG
It has been 4 years since I taught you for Mendaki at Pandan Primary. You were sitting for your PSLE back then. You were the type who was rugged and tomboyish while your other female classmates got more vain with their long hair and shorter skirts. I really enjoyed teaching your class that year because all of you were very cooperative and eager to attend class every week, including you.
Through that one year with you, we bonded and grew. You managed to pass all your subjects and get into the express stream and I still remember how happy you were when you called me to share your results. It was all your hard work, I merely gave you the extra bit of guidance. You went on to secondary school and your brother came under me the following year- he was next to take his PSLE.
Although you were no longer under my charge, I always asked Hamkah how you've been doing. And once in a while, you would sms me asing how I was doing and to update me on your school life. Yes and you never failed to ask me whether I've gotten myself a boyfriend (haha.. some things just don't change Aida). Each Hari Raya that passed, I would see how you and your brother have grown. Each time you will come with different groups of friends and it's heartwarming to know that I am always remembered and the effort taken to travel all the way to my house.
Last year, you didn't come to visit but you insisted that I drop by your house when I visit my aunt's house at Teban, and I did. Each year, I have witnessed you and Hamkah evolving into teenagers; Nothing too drastic, just that typical dyeing of hair and you told me how you were struggling a little with your studies. Sometimes you and Hambali took the effort to message me some of your maths questions, hoping that I could help to solve them.
The two of you went quiet since the last Hari Raya. And I also left you undisturbed. It was yesterday that I suddenly got a message each from the two of you again. Frankly I was overjoyed. Indeed, it has been a long time. I was so touched reading the content of your messages that I knew I just had to see the both of you when I went down to visit my aunt today. And so I messaged you to tell that I was at Teban. You were very eager to meet me and so was I.
You came down with a friend. You were still the same tomboyish Aida... but now you have multiple piercings on your ears. You even pierced the side of your lips. I knew my heart cracked a little to see you like that but I did not want to be judgemental. I joked a little about your outlook and asked about Haron.
I was happy that Haron would soon be joining us and you forwarned me,"Cikgu, jangan terperanjat tau kalau tengok muka Haron (teacher, please don't be shock when you see Haron's face)." That statement didn't give me a nice feeling. And true enough, I was trying to suppress my shock when I saw Haron. He had even more piercings on his face and ears with huge studs. Haron was such a softspoken and nice boy and I know he still is and I dont wish to erase that image of him. Haron soon went off with his group of friends. I was briefly introduced to them and it made me even more worried to see the kind of friends they hang out with. Aida decided not to join the group as yet and stayed behind with me. We had a long good chat.
Aida shared a lot of her life stories with me. Of how she and Haron have swayed into bad company. How she and Haron have been spending their time idling away under the void decks smoking, or hanging out at their friend's house getting themselves drunk, how much she hated the people at home and what shattered me most was how she was caught abusing drugs in school, which she got from Haron. Be reminded that Haron and Aida are just 16 and 15 and they are still underaged for cigarettes and alcoholic drinks, what more drugs. Yes, the drugs part really got me very very worried.
Only Allah knows how I was pleading for his merciness to guide this two children of mine back to the right path as I listened to her stories. I was trying so much to hold my tears back but it was just too much to take. Aida witnessed me crying right in front of her- they were my tears of helplessness, my tears of disappointment, my tears of regret, not with Aida and Haron themselves, but with many others. It just hurt me so much to see how they have strayed. They used to be such wonderful pupils and just yesterday, Aida admitted that she had slept throughout her F&N paper and handed it up in the exact same state as how they were handed to her.
We talked and shared for more than an hour. I know they were just victims of circumstances bad influence and curiosity. How I wished I had been closer to them and had stopped them from drowning so deep. I can hear the plea in her words to help her get back on track. It's not going to be easy to kick the bad habits but I really hope we can work something out together.
To Aida and Haron, do know that they are still many people who cares for you out there, especially me. Think before you act and do what's best for yourselves, not for others. Do not destroy your life and your future because you still have a long way to go. Pick up your interest to study again, and I will try my best to help in any way I can. Do know that I care for you and so do the teachers in school.
Please take care. There is no shortcut to easy life but we need to work hard. I really care for the two of you...
PS: Please note that the names are fictional to protect the identities of the abovementioned.
